


Fuck Cancer

by bonmot507



Category: The L Word
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-25
Updated: 2010-02-25
Packaged: 2017-11-29 04:20:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/682695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonmot507/pseuds/bonmot507
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU, in a sense. Cancer has not taken Dana away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuck Cancer

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this, can't remember why. Love this pairing, don't know if I love this.

Title: Fuck Cancer  
Fandom: The L Word  
Pairing: Alice/Dana  
Rating: R  
Feedback: Comments, PMs, whatever. I'll take it how I can get it.  
Disclaimer: I, in no way, have any rights to the L Word. I would have made some serious changes if I did. Just playin', don't sue, please?  
Summary: AU, in a sense. Cancer has not taken Dana away.  
Notes: Wrote this, can't remember why. Love this pairing.

Fuck cancer. 

Alice hated cancer more than she’d ever hated anything in her entire life, including fucking Nadia Merchant, who had slept with Gabbie Deveaux while they were together and made Dana feel like shit. Cancer really sucked the fat one. The being said, though she would never admit this to anyone (except maybe Shane, but she never, ever judged); she was a little grateful for it too. Cancer had hurt Dana, her ex-lover, former best friend and for a very short period, stalking victim. But cancer had also given her back. And while  Alice hated watching Dana’s body fight and wither with the ravages of cancer, Dana was as beautiful to her as she’d ever been. Mastectomy be damned, Dana Fairbanks, despite her feelings to the contrary, was a whole, sexy woman in  Alice ’s eyes. And that was a very big problem.  

            After all, it had taken Dana almost dying for the two of them to deal with each other again, and frankly, they hadn’t dealt with anything. Not with Dana’s shockingly bad behavior during their break up, or for that matter,  Alice ’s in the months following. They had behaved badly and ruined the most important relationship  Alice had ever had in her whole fucking life. To make matters exceedingly worse, she was now sure she’d never really gotten over Dana, as much as she was sure Dana had never completely gotten over her. Did Dana actually think she was being coy when she said “you’re like my favorite person to do things with”? Because all  Alice saw in that moment was the same look Dana had given her after they kissed for the first time: sweet, sexy, and oh-so-fucking hopeful. It nearly sliced her heart open. 

            Because, really, how the fuck could Dana trust her again? After she made such a fucking mess of things? She certainly wasn’t ready to take the chance, especially not with Lara Perkins and their on again off again relationship hanging over their heads. And, to be honest,  Alice wasn’t sure she wouldn’t lose herself in Dana all over again. 

            Still, she knew she would jump at any chance to fix things with Dana. She was the true love of  Alice ’s life. Even when Dana was deathly ill, vomiting every twenty minutes in the depths of her chemo, her eyes dark and watery, her body wracked with sobs between wretching,  Alice loved her.  Alice was attracted to her. And if that wasn’t fucking true love, she just didn’t know what love meant. 

            And, after watching Dana’s face light up when she brought her the stupid flower, after listening to “You Are My Sunshine” every time the world became too much for Dana, and seeing the look on her face when it played, her hands swaying drunkenly as the flower danced, Alice had enough proof for a lifetime about Dana Fairbanks’ feelings. She just had no idea what to do about them. 

            None of this had really been an issue when Dana was still completely sick.  Alice just showed up and resumed her position as the most important person in Dana’s life. They didn’t speak of their relationship, or of lingering feelings, or really of the mind blowing sex they’d suddenly started and stopped having. Which  Alice was loathe to admit, but popped into her head constantly at the most inopportune times. Helping Dana change, helping her bathe, watching her sleep, she could feel the silkiness of her skin under her fingertips. She wondered at the ghost of the scent of Dana rising through the air as she licked a path down her torso. Sure, Dana’s body was failing her, but all  Alice saw was the beautiful woman and friend she’d always been. But it had been easy to ignore. To file away under the “can’t deal with this now” slot in her mind and to continue to help Dana with a smile on her face, cautious to not give away the thoughts in her mind, careful to not let her desire seep through to her touch.   

            But now, Dana was getting better. Healthier and stronger and she was beginning to stand on her own. And now,  Alice had no fucking idea what to do. Which is why, she supposed, she snuck away from Dana’s apartment while she was sleeping, leaving a note explaining she needed to run home and check on things. And, why she couldn’t bring herself to go back for twelve hours. And why she was sitting in her apartment, ignoring the phone, staring at the chart. And why, she guessed, she started to hear a very loud banging on the door, followed by Dana’s hesitant call of “Al”? 

            She rose from the couch, putting her long cold coffee down on the table in front of her. Moving towards the door, she glanced in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, sticking out in all possible directions, her glasses on her face slightly crooked. She looked dulled, kind of dumb from lack of sleep. She sighed, fighting a hand through her hair, though it made little difference, and corrected her glasses. Finally, taking a deep breath, she walked purposefully towards the door and opened it. “Hi Dane.” She murmured, looking closely at her friend. 

            Dana, for her part, was doing a bit of the nervous shuffle from one foot to another. She looked better than she had in a long time and she knew it. Her shirts were still a little billowy on her, and her jeans were not nearly as tight as they used to be, but all in all, she looked healthier, more like herself than she had felt in months. She grinned at  Alice when she opened the door, reaching a hand out to play with some stray hair that was sticking straight up from  Alice ’s head. “Where’d you go?” Her voice had some fear in it, and they both knew why. Yesterday they had been to Dana’s doctor and heard the word they’d both been waiting for. Remission. Things were starting to head into remission. Dana had a chance at a life again. And as soon as they heard that, neither one of them could speak to each other any longer. Which is why, she thought,  Alice must have run away in the middle of the night. She’d never done such a thing before. And when she woke up alone in the morning, why she knew she’d have to come here and figure out what the hell was going on between them. 

            So many unanswered questions, she knew. Things she would have to explain that she couldn’t justify to herself, and of course, the horrible “where does that leave us” conversation that she was terrified of. She knew she couldn’t expect  Alice to just be with her again, not after everything she put her through. Not after her bout of indecision the year prior. She shook her head, running her hand back and forth over Alice’s fly away, watching as the look on her former best friend’s face went from confused to testy but with a slight smile that told Dana she was just confused and a little scared. 

“I left you a note, Dana. I came home to check on things.”  Alice said, stepping away from the door, making room to let the brunette in. 

            Dana moved forward, glancing around the apartment. She knew she’d been there since they’d broken up, but she couldn’t help but watch the memories of that horrific conversation play out. She turned back towards Alice who was watching her with a look on her face. “You were gone for a long time. I must be getting better. You haven’t left me alone in months.” She grinned, meaning for her tone to be light. It wasn’t. 

            If  Alice noticed, she didn’t say anything, merely nodded. “How’d you get up here, Dane?” 

“Uhh, I tried buzzing you about thirty times, but you were ignoring me, I guess.” The smile didn’t leave her face. “So, finally I buzzed Patty. She let me in.” She shrugged. 

“Good old Patty.”  Alice smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She sank back against the wall, arms crossed; staring across the chasm of a few feet like it was the  Grand Canyon . 

“I’m not used to being alone, Al. I wasn’t sure what to do.” Dana mirrored  Alice , resting her back against the other side of the hall. She didn’t cross her arms; instead let them limp at her sides. 

“I’m sorry, Dana. I just… wasn’t sure what to…”  Alice began, tears beginning to form in her eyes. 

“Hey!” Dana’s eyes went wide, and despite the fact that they were terrified of each other, she stepped forward, and put her hand on  Alice ’s crossed arms. “We promised no crying now that I’m gonna be okay, Al. You can’t break your own rule.” 

“Put it on the list of things I’ve fucked up then, okay?”  Alice fired back, feeling a little burned by Dana’s touch; she shrunk back further, pulling away. 

“ Alice .” Dana shook her head, pushing forward anyway. She put her hand against the wall and moved her body closer into her friend’s, willing her not to move away. “What are we gonna do?” She murmured more to herself, her breath unwittingly brushing the blonde’s ear.  Alice shuddered involuntarily. Dana, oh-so used to the signs of  Alice ’s arousal, felt her nipple harden in response. 

“What do you want to do?” The question was soft, but full of intent.  Alice turned to fully look at Dana, and their bodies pressed against each other. 

            Dana, for all of her good intentions that they should and would talk today, couldn’t help herself. She placed her other hand on the wall, arms pinning  Alice between them and leaned forward. It was a slow progression, slightly torturous. Dana gave her ample time to back away, although not the room to go, and finally brought their lips together. 

            Time stopped. 

            Dana Fairbanks, professional tennis player, kickass woman, loyal best friend, amazing kisser, and badass lover came back home to her body. And when she realized she was kissing Alice, who seemed frail, tiny almost, she wrapped her arms around her lower back, urged her legs around her, and carried them to the bedroom never breaking the kiss.  Alice cried through it anyway. Dana felt her face get wet with the blonde’s tears. 

            Exhausted from the most physical exertion she’d done in over a year, they collapsed haphazardly. It took a moment to get her bearings, but Dana dove immediately back for  Alice ’s lips as she started to realize that talking wasn’t going to do what they needed to do.  Alice needed to be shown, so Dana was going to do that. 

            Reluctantly,  Alice put her hand up to Dana’s shoulder, pushing gently back. Their eyes met, searching. “I don’t think we can do this.” She felt her heart break for the twelfth fucking time, and every time it had been Dana’s fault. 

“Fuck that, Al. I think we need to do this.”  It must have been how sure Dana’s voice was, or how pleading her eyes were, but something in that moment brought back every time  Alice had held back. Every time she watched Dana suffer and didn’t say “I’m so in love with you I could burst and I’ll never leave you alone.” Every time she saw Dana curse her body, fearful she was ugly, and  Alice bit back her solid appreciation, her strong desire, her need for the other woman. And she knew that Dana was right, that she needed her more than she had words for, more than she understood, and it didn’t matter if tomorrow the conversation left them as best friends or not, because right now she needed to feel. She needed the physicality of their bodies pressed together and writhing because if she couldn’t have that, she wouldn’t survive another fucking hour.

            So instead of responding, she pulled Dana’s face to hers and kissed her, pushing her tongue through the woman’s lips. She claimed her mouth, staking her right to be here and for once not caring if Dana were too fragile for it, knowing that they both needed this. She felt Dana comply above her, opening her mouth to  Alice , allowing her in, her tongue meeting each of  Alice ’s thrusts, dancing with her. A moan came from one of their throats, but neither knew which.  Alice thrust her hips, testing Dana’s weight above her, using the knowledge to make a decisive roll, landing on top of Dana who grinned beneath her. “You love topping me.” Dana said softly. 

Alice rolled her eyes despite herself. “Yeah, you pillow queen.” Dana’s eyes got wide, and  Alice couldn’t help but laugh. There she was, goofy Dana Fairbanks, her best friend, and she’d never been more in love with fucking anything. And she knew she never would. The smile on Dana’s face was enough for  Alice , and yet she couldn’t help but reach down for the hem of Dana’s shirt. She watched the brunette’s expression carefully. She wrenched an eyebrow up, as if to ask for permission. Dana nodded, not trusting herself to speak. 

Alice slowly pulled the shirt up, now used to the look of Dana’s chest, her one perfect breast standing in direct contrast to the scarred one.  Alice smiled, how little she cared about the appearances of it, knowing how fucking beautiful her lover was, both because of and despite her surgery. She lowered her head with reverence, her lips lightly brushing over the scars. She kissed just over where Dana’s nipple had been, her hand reaching for and softly kneading her other breast. She lightly pushed her face against the scar tissue, rubbing the skin of her cheek against it, as she tweaked Dana’s nipple in her hand. A moan sounded from Dana, and  Alice was thrilled to hear it. She dropped her face lower, kissing around Dana’s chest, and down the curve of her stomach.  Alice was delighted to find softness where strong abs had once been, and she rubbed her face along her stomach as well. Her hands drifted down, running along Dana’s sides and down her hips. 

            She looked up then, examining Dana’s face. Her eyes were closed, her lips turned up into a hint of a smile. Her brow furrowed, she looked a little scared, but overall fairly happy. She knew it had been a long time since Dana had had sex, and was delighted to find her so confident and responsive. She suspected it wouldn’t take much for Dana to orgasm or tire out. She knew immediately she had to taste her before she lost the chance.   Alice smiled. “Dane?” 

“Mmmm?” She responded, one eye opening carefully. 

“Is this okay?” She asked, her hand moving to the waistband of Dana’s jeans.

            Dana’s upturned lips became a smile, and she nodded. “Please.” Her voice was gravelly. 

            Deftly,  Alice unbuttoned the fly, and slowly lowered the pants down Dana’s hips. She grinned, seeing the Wonder Woman panties that Shane had procured for her friend after hours of searching the internet. She glanced up at Dana, a hungry look in her eyes. Dana blushed. She pushed her face forward into the crotch, kissing Wonder Woman’s feet, making Dana swoon. Her hands swept over Dana’s stomach and then down to the band of the underwear, slowly pulling them down.  Alice ’s lips followed them, a kiss at the top of her hip, then at the apex of thigh and mound. She marveled at how her lover smelled, nectar she knew so well. 

            With the panties gone,  Alice moved to her knees in front of Dana, resting her hands on Dana’s thighs and pushing them gently apart. She stared down into the sex of her lover, and licked her lips. “Fuck.” She murmured, feeling herself flood at the sight of her. Finally, she leaned down and sucked one of Dana’s lips into her mouth, pulling slightly as Dana moaned a bit, bucking into her mouth. Her tongue traced the outside of her sex, while her fingers slowly tickled up the inside of Dana’s thigh. Rearing back, she pushed her tongue into Dana’s wetness, licking her broad and flat from clit to opening, and back again. Dana moaned into the attention, her eyes shut firmly in concentration. 

            Her thumb met Dana’s clit with a circular motion, delighting in the little mews that came from Dana as she breathed heavily.  Alice pushed her tongue into Dana deeply, drinking her. As she began to thrust she felt the onset of Dana’s orgasm. She pointed her tongue and licked hard, up, fast, the rough patch met her tongue and Dana’s breathing became erratic.  Alice thrust her tongue in and out deep, hitting the patch again and again as her thumb continued to figure eight around Dana’s clit. Dana’s hips lifted and bucked off the bed, and  Alice drank as she flooded with orgasm. 

            When Dana settled down again, her eyes were already heavy with sleep.  Alice climbed the length of her body, her hand resting against Dana’s sex as if to keep her warm. With her other arm she pulled the blanket over her. “Al…” Dana began, but her voice was already drowsy. 

“Sleep, Dane. You’re exhausted.”  Alice grinned, placing kisses lightly over Dana’s face. 

“We need to talk.” Dana murmured, nuzzling into  Alice . 

“We will.”  Alice responded, her arms reaching to encircle her lover. 

“You’re my best friend, Al.” Dana’s eyes opened with effort. 

Alice grinned, bringing a hand to Dana’s cheek, their eyes searching each other. “I know that.” She laughed lightly. 

“And I love you.” Dana said, her voice soft. 

“I know that too.”  Alice brought their lips together lightly, and Dana tasted herself as they kissed. Dana’s eyes fluttered closed again, and  Alice watched as her breathing steadied. She smiled. “Fuck cancer… but thanks a little bit too,” she thought as her own eyes drifted closed. 


End file.
